Insight and Beyond
By: Denisha Price
As mental health awareness month comes to a close, it was placed upon my heart to share a very important part of my story with you. The story of Insight.
July 28, 2018 was one of the most difficult days of my life.
I was in so much pain internally. I had been suicidal for two years but holding on to God more than ever. On this specific day, I had never felt so ready to end the pain I'd been feeling for 20+ years of my life. I left work sick because I was physically and mentally debilitated. It was that day that I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't eating, showering, or taking care of myself. I was not ok!
I isolated myself from family and friends. I didn't want to be a burden, and I felt like an embarrassment. On this day, my family and supporters realized I was NOT well. Some of them were in denial about my mental state. Some actually thought I was possessed by a demon, and because I was so mentally weak I thought so too.
Fast forward to July 30th…
The best thing I could've done for myself was to check into a mental wellness facility. I was partially hospitalized, attending Insight Behavioral Health Center seven days a week, 9 hours a day. I received intensive individual and group therapy, as well as psychiatric treatment. I was surrounded by fellow attendees and staff members who encouraged me to lower my walls and allow myself to feel. They reassured me that it was ok to cry, and that although healing hurts, I had to go through the process. I took 3 months off of work to tend to my mental health. Within those 3 months, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I didn't understand how a successful, selfless, God-fearing woman could go through something like this.
This was a truly humbling experience. God showed me that I was not above something like this. Mental illness has no face, color, shape, or size. I went through this, not for myself, but to help someone else make it to the other side of peace, joy, and happiness. There was magic in my mess. As an added bonus, I met my life-long companion and soulmate. Someone who gets it because she went through it. Trust that God knows what He is doing.
I never thought I’d be comfortable enough to share my story. Growing up, I was always told, "everyone doesn't need to know your business." This statement is true to a certain extent, but I’ve learned that your story and testimony could save a life. You could inspire and empower someone who needs an extra push. I pray that this chapter of my book encourages you to be proactive when it comes to your mental health and wellness. It is ok not to be ok. Seek help! Go to therapy. Do what you need to make sure you live a healthy, prosperous, and wholesome life. I love you and I got you.
“SET BACK” (POEM)
The best thing that ever happened to her
It was the close of the old and, behold… all things are new
Sweat dripping from her body, acting out the pain she couldn’t relay
Gasping for air, she cried because FREE FREE FREEDOM on the way
Her mind, body and soul had enough
Before her mind shut down, it replayed twenty years of hurt
Family was divided, but on this day… reunited
Humility ignited, as her pain spoke through her silence
It took her setback for people to recognize her pain
She fought for her life on that exact day
In their eyes, she was diagnosed with a demonic spirit
Because her life “didn’t align with God and the Holy Spirit”
So heavenly minded, the “religious ones” are no earthly good
This is what happened to after years of being misunderstood
Neurotransmitters firing but not making it to the other side
It was her time to step out on faith and let God be her guide
The time has come to put an end to suffering
She was gracefully broken down to the very last bit
Despite mental breakdowns and panic attacks
Let's break down the fact that the enemy had her voice but now she got it back
Enough is enough, it's time for her to make a choice
Trust God or stay bound to them and their “religious” noise?
She chose God, so He gave her victory and liberty
May seem like a setback, but sit back and wait patiently for her comeback